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Joke of the Day

"How do you keep idiots in suspense?......"

"If my balls come out on the lottery tonight... my career as a TV presenter will be in ruins."

"If you need a ride to the airport, give me at least two weeks notice so I'll have a chance to clear my schedule and die"

"Petulant wife In the middle of a fight, husband said, ""Let's not quarrel, let's discuss the things sensibly."" ""No,"" said the wife angrily. ""Every time we discuss sensibly, I lose!"""

"The only meal my girlfriend ever makes for me is alphabet soup because even when we aren't fighting she still loves to put words in my mouth"

"A man gives his wife a glass of water and two aspirin His wife says, ""What are these for? I don't have a headache."" The man replies, ""Great! Let's f***!"""

"A sentence and a phrase is arguing, what did the sentence say? I know where you're coming from this phrase, but I can't see your point."

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the Moon? The food's ok, but it has no atmosphere."

"Out for the Count by Esau Stars"

"damn girl are you calculus because I have no idea what youre talking about"