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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the Moon? The food's ok, but it has no atmosphere."

"Record ice and precipitation in the northeast and I'm paranoid that the government is watching me Because I am snowed in."

"My girlfriend came out of the shower and said ""I shaved down there, you know what that means?"" I said, ""Yeah the f*cking drain is clogged again."""

"Man gets arrested by female police officer A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, ""Anything you say can and will be held against you."" The man replies, ""Boobs!"""

"Why is Jesus' body bread? Because given enough time it rises"

"A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre... So he gave it to her."

"Knock knock. Who's there? It's Amy. Amy who? It's amy, MARIO!"

"Everyone's gynecologist uses the term battle damage,' right?"

"Elmo: Oscar, why are you a grouch? Oscar: Growing up, my parents were- *stabs Elmo with broken beer bottle* CUZ I LIVE IN A TRASHCAN."

"Man walks into a rod He doesn't understand comedy"