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Joke of the Day

"A man gives his wife a glass of water and two aspirin His wife says, ""What are these for? I don't have a headache."" The man replies, ""Great! Let's f***!"""

"Every chick magazine ever: You're beautiful and are perfect just the way you are! How to loose ten pounds in ten days you fat, ugly cow."

"The average person has sex 89 times a year It's gunna be one hell of a week for me."

"My existential crisis began when I realized there is no ""I"" in ""me."""

"What did the ascetic say when he broke his fast? [OC] I think I'll go on a diet!"

"Apparently it's inappropriate to ask where her shoes are from when you're in the next stall."

"What happens when a muppet gives you a blowjob? A handjob"

"Why did the Red Hot Chili Peppers cross the road? Because they wanted to be taken to the other side."

"Father Christmas: All right my good lady my face is my ticket. Box office attendant: Then you'd better watch out... there's a feller inside who has the job of punching the tickets."

"Do math majors get degrees or radians?"