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Joke of the Day

"Him: So what do you do? Me (hoping to save up for some bushes at the edge of my property): I run a hedge fund."

"""Ladies and gents."" That concludes our tour of the toilets."

"Dear Mario, I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend :)"

"Chicken Pot Pie My three favorite things."

"No matter how spicy your sex life is ... If he's a two-thymer; cumin in that ginger Rosemary, my sage advice ... would bay to leaf him."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Doesn't matter how many there are, they can't change anything."

"Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank? He got caught drinking on the job."

"Live a little, ask her ""are ya done?"" while she's still yelling at you."

"What is Stewie Griffin's least favorite Fallout weapon? The Fat Man."

"Whats the most addictive drug you can formulate out of a piece of the human body? Hairoin"