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Joke of the Day

"""Talk to me, Goose,"" Tom Cruise crackled over the radio. ""Squawk."" Goose replied before nose diving into the ground causing untold amounts of destruction, because geese can not operate aircraft."

"I can count how many times I used condoms on one hand Zero. You put them on your penis, not your hand. Credit goes to Ron Jeremy."

"What do space aliens put on their windows? Venutian blinds."

"Nurse: ""Oh jeez, was that you that fell 20 ft out of the tree?"" I don't know, I wasn't counting. Not much of a joke but it was hilarious when my grandpa said it at the hospital (happened to him ofc)."

"I like my wine like I like my women Stored in a dark basement till they're 5 years old"

"I get wetter as you get dryer. What am I? A necrophiliac."

"Quick! I need cheesy science jokes!!"

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result but I still get up every morning."

"Hitler was a great man. He killed Hitler."

"6: Dad what's a Kardashian? Me: Nobody really knows... 6: Sounds really stupid Me: I love you"