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Joke of the Day

"I get wetter as you get dryer. What am I? A necrophiliac."

"For the past couple of years, I have been saying that the only holidays worth celebrating are the equinoxes and the solstices. I find all of the others to be astronomically unimportant."

"Opening a bag of M&M's will produce no sound to a normal human. A toddler, it's like the atomic blast at Nagasaki to those creatures"

"How do you know if somebody graduated from Harvard? They'll tell you."

"I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted."

"A clever one from Yahoo! Answers Sea water equals salt. That's what it boils down to."

"What are the odds of an anorexic girl joining the clergy? Slim to nun."

"My CW just barked. Ok, it may have been a burp, but I'd like him a lot more if he were turning into a dog, so I think he barked."

"When I hear someone complain that their towns are boring with nothing to do, all I hear is a boring person who doesn't know how to have fun."

"What do you tell a woman with black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."