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Joke of the Day

"What do Jesus and my high school girlfriend have in common? They both bled for me."

"An astronaut in space was asked by a reporter ""How do you feel?"" ""How would you feel"" the astronout replied ""if you were stuck here on top of 20000 parts each one supplied by the lowest bidder?"""

"Why do weathermen name hurricanes after women? Because when they come they're wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them."

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression... ...unless you keep a stash of roofies on you at all times."

"The average person has sex 103 times a year and it's almost March so that means only 103 more to go."

"What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats."

"I've been watching women's Olympic beach volleyball and there's already been a wrist injury. But I should be fine by tomorrow."

"Whats the difference between God and Donald Trump? God doesn't think he is Donald Trump."

"Why do French tanks have rear-view mirrors? To see the enemies."

"Being a chemist, I feel pleasure to announce that I've just Synthesised CPH4(lucy drug). I wish I could post it in r/worldnews."