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Joke of the Day

"How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? You just call me..."

"We saw the german chancellor fall down the stairs ! AUA !"

"Doctor doctor people keep telling me I'm ugly! Lay on the couch face down."

"TIL that 70% of statistics are made up on the spot. ...like for example this one."

"The door is not ajar. It's a door, silly!"

"How many penises it takes to satisfy president Obama? One, his own."

"""Quit mowing your lawn you heathen and go to church!"" -Me as I put in earplugs and go back to bed on a Sunday morning."

"This will make you groan.. I like to travel a lot, and last year I flew and visited Hiroshima, Japan. It was fairly cold that day so it wasn't the best day, but it wasn't the worst...."

"A pirate walks into a bar with his ship's steering wheel shoved down his pants. The bartender says, ""hey pirate that's got to be hard to walk with."" Pirate says, ""aye, it be driving me nuts."""

"I was talking to a radical feminist the other day. Haha no, could you imagine?"