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Joke of the Day
"Whats the difference between God and Donald Trump? God doesn't think he is Donald Trump."
Next Joke
"I love telling jokes... But I always punch up the fuck line. Shit!"
"Why don't jews have arranged marriage? They have no 'forced kin'. I'm so sorry"
"While I fully intended to ""sleep my way to the top,"" it appears I've napped my way to the middle."
"[standing in driveway with wife] I thought we agreed on a Prius [giant eagle pecks at saddle] NO THIS IS BETTER"
"Why did the chickens cross the road? I had to get back to my car from KFC"
"Hard tacos are just soft tacos from the street."
"I've been told I can be a bit condescending. That means I talk down to people."
"Sperm can live inside a woman for like 2 weeks. Nine months if things go really wrong."
"Never underestimate a woman sitting quietly in a corner sharpening a knife."