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Joke of the Day
"Confucious he say... Man who walk before car gets tired, man who walk behind car gets exhausted"
Next Joke
"freak people out in public restrooms by saying ""come in"" when they knock on the stall door"
"You know, if I slouch in my chair at just the right angle, my fat rolls into a pretty impressive 3-pack'. Heck, I'm half way to sexy town "
"[Starbucks Assassins Inc] CHIEF: Write this down. Target's name is John BARISTA: [writes] Jamie C: Ok. Memorise it B: [eyes shut] Janet"
"What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? Shoot him again."
"In India, you don't drive on the left of the road.. you drive on what is left on the road."
"I only enter names and numbers into my contacts so I can see who I'm ignoring when they call."
"Is there such a thing as spontaneous feline combustion? Anyway, baking soda and vinegar are terrible for cats."
"[high seas] FIRST MATE: I can't wait to see my wife again PIRATE: Land Ho! FIRST MATE: Now look, that's a little rude"
"Doctor: this might hurt a little bit Me: okay Doctor: i like you, but only as a friend"