22601

Joke of the Day

"When the zombies want Twisties! take a look on this zombies viral video, serious feedback please :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdRiM_BPbQ8"

"""Sorry I didn't have a chance to clean up the place,"" I say as I wave dismissively at the chalk outline drawn on the living room floor."

"Me: But God, where did the second set of footprints go? God: That's when you were dating that psycho. I wasn't sticking around for that."

"Offense: When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing... ? A fence."

"My gran keeps banging on about the dangers of the modern world, apparently when she was young she never had to secure her back entrance. What a slag."

"My State of the Union I am from Illinois, but I also lived in Arizona for a while."

"BANGkok Too soon?"

"Why was the volcano so pleasant to be around? Because he was so magmanimous."

"What did the regular hotel room say to the fancy hotel room Oh suite! This was made up by my 11 year old son, I thought it was fist bump worthy."

"Damn girl are you community college? Because you pretty much just let anyone in."