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Joke of the Day

"My gran keeps banging on about the dangers of the modern world, apparently when she was young she never had to secure her back entrance. What a slag."

"I used to work in restaurants before switching to information technology... ... The biggest difference is that the phrase ""my server went down on me"" is no longer a good thing."

"Sad Dick A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess; his family is nuts; his next-door neighbor is an asshole; his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually."

"Life is like huffing butane... first you huff the butane, then you die"

"American insults must be awkward in french The word douche in douchebag translates to shower"

"Idk Why you kept reading"

"Los Angeles announced plans to lease 288 all-electric police cars. Do you know where they'll use them? In Watts. I'll see myself out now."

"Who makes the best milkshakes ever? Michael J. Fox."

"[during sex] HER: this isn't working out ME: *putting sock puppet away* was it something he said?"

"My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car."