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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a bike in NYC that has been standing out in the sun for hours? Tire-less"
Next Joke
"In most conversations, my face is basically a red battery logo with 10% written next to it."
"""How about a scarf?"" - Johnny Depp's stylist every day."
"Where does a mansplainer get his water? From a well, actually..."
"If your girlfriend bleeds the first time you have sex with her, tell her to get used to it. In a few years time, she'll bleed every month. ohhh shit. facial."
"You know what's sad? 3 of my team members dying of drinking poison and the last dying of a fractured neck because he didn't drink the poison"
"When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask ""who's in charge of tossing the salads here?"" Then I frown & order the soup."
"Why is it so hard to sleep with Asian women? It can be a slippery slope."
"It's funny how your tweets are funnier now that I know you're hot. -everyone on Twitter"
"Went out for a drive today in my car & bumped into an old friend... Hope he doesn't sue me."