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Joke of the Day

"Someone hash-tagged ""share the love,"" and I read it as ""shave the love."" I thought, yeah, I can get on board with that."

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick. Possibly better for r/dadjokes, I'll show my self out."

"What's the hardest thing that every snowboarder has to do in his life? Tell his mom and dad that he's gay."

"Yesterday my dear friend Gavin passed away after taking heartburn pills. I can't believe Gaviscon."

"I pushed the happy button... ...I just made it depressed."

"If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn't 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?"

"My grandfather always used to tell me... you can lead a horse to water, but if you can teach him to fish, you need to lay off the fucking acid."

"Today I got in touch with my inner self Last time I'm buying cheap toilet paper."

"I could've sworn there was less grunting and moaning the last time I put these pants on... Maybe the donut in my mouth muffled it"

"Dr: So, how did you dislocate your shoulder? Me: I panicked when the blood pressure machine at the store got tigh- I mean football.."