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Joke of the Day
"[NSFW] What do people in Arkansas say after having sex? Get off me pa you're crushing my smokes"
Next Joke
"But my sandwich is so dry! ""Sorry sir, that's not what we do here at the Mayo Clinic."""
"I'm not an olympic sprinter, I just run like one when my ex wants to talk."
"What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks?   A mute, crippled insomniac"
"Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice box? Because it says ""concentrate"""
"""If you love something, set it free..."" Unless it's a man... Cause he'll get lost... And you know he won't ask for directions..."
"*Submits synonymosaur as an alternate word for thesaurus *Waits for Nobel Peace Prize"
"What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? Dead."
"Mickey Mouse goes to divorce court to divorce Minnie... The Judge says ""so you want to Divorce your wife because she's crazy?"" Mickey replies ""No, what I said was She's F&#@ing Goofy."""
"The only reason I've been going out with this guy all summer is because I have no idea how to operate my gas grill."