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Joke of the Day
"Why was the surfer such a bad cook? All he could handle was the microwave"
Next Joke
"Ian: It's done. Mafia boss: Did you go anywhere nice? I: What? MB: Like a restaurant. I: I killed him. MB: I said take him out! Oh god, Tim!"
"Why did Microsoft skip a number when naming their new operating system? Because 7 ate 9."
"Cripple jokes are terrible... I just cant stand them..."
"Social life? You mean my phone?"
"So, I hear Islam is the religion of peace. Piece of you here, piece of you there."
"""Dad!"" my shit says, right before I flush it."
"Q: What do you get when you play a new age song backwards? A: A new age song."
"Knock Knock.. Who's there? Knock Knock.. Who's there? Knock Knock.. Who's there? Open the door! I'm the pilot."
"The only thing I know about Downton Abbey is that everyone looks as if they smell like the bottom of my Nana's purse."