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Joke of the Day

"A racist joke. Why don't you fight the black kid that is in the second grade? Because his father is in the eighth grade."

"[about to see a boob for the first time] ""ok, play it cool, play it cool. don't say anything stupid"" [girl removes bra] ""whoopeeee"""

"Knock Knock Batman: Who's there? Alfred: Not your parents. :D"

"Phone just autocorrected ""your"" to ""yore"" in case thou wouldst think I'm smarter than thee."

"Why do sharks circle their prey? ""dad, why do the sharks swim in circles like that before they eat someone?"" ""it makes them taste better, son."" ""taste better? How? "" ""it scares the shit out of them."""

"Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby sister? I'd much rather have a jelly baby."

"She said she liked it doggystyle, so I sniffed her butt then peed on the carpet"

"You can tell a lot about a woman by how she slices brownies. For example: if she throws the knife at you, you should pick up some midol."

"I do not discriminate between white-collar and blue-collar workers Because I am collar-blind."

"A homeless guy asked me ""would you give me $5 for a sandwich?"" I said ""I don't know man, show me the sandwich first."""