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Joke of the Day

"Why do pessimists always think it's the weekend? Because every day is a sadder-day."

"If I could go back in time and talk to my ten year old self My parents probably would've put a restraining order on me."

"People say I'm not good with Greek Mythology... I guess that it's my Achilles wrist."

"I never understood why vets... aren't called dogtors."

"A roofer is working on a house and makes a mistake and falls through the ceiling and into the house. One of the guys inside says, ""nice of you to drop in."""

"This is not a joke"

"What I've learned from Twitter: 1. Men are pervs 2. Women are pervs 3. Cats are pervs"

"I'm seriously disappointed by /r/goldbenefits. Not even one name appeared in the Panama papers."

"Someday I'm gonna open a pawn shop and blow everyone's mind when I only sell rooks, bishops and knights."

"Pop superstar, Will.i.am, has just bought a new car. It's a Jag.u.r."