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Joke of the Day

"Someday I'm gonna open a pawn shop and blow everyone's mind when I only sell rooks, bishops and knights."

"The Past, The Present, and The Future all went camping... How? They all stayed in seperate tents!"

"I dropped out of law school when I found out that badgering the witness has nothing to do with throwing woodland creatures at defendants."

"If you are going to send me boob pics, try and save them in the right image format. As a Nerd it's a major turnoff to get a .bmp"

"Why did the nun swear when she got her new outfit? It was a bad habit."

"The worst part about winter is how the ground is hard and crunchy and it makes me constantly crave nachos."

"What's with girls having weird names nowadays? I recently slept with a girl and after sex she was like ""I'm Fifteen"" I was like that's nice I'm Daniel."

"Last week I walked up to Wayne Rooney at the airport and said,""How about an autograph mate?"" ""Sure."" He replied. So I signed a photo print of myself and gave it to him."

"I told my girlfriend I've known 3 whores in my life. The first one was named mercedes, the second one porsche, your name must be buick!"

"Whats the sickest piece of art? Pneumonia Lisa"