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Joke of the Day

"I never understood why vets... aren't called dogtors."

"[Emergency Room] MRS. PINATA: Will my husband make it, doc? DOCTOR *slurping on sucker*: We'll do what we can but he's lost a lot of candy"

"What did the miner say when he struck gold? Au, yeah!"

"What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub? Throw in your laundry."

"When I die, throw berries on my grave Cause that's how I would like to be berried"

"Call me ignorant, but I have no idea what you're talking about. - ""That's exactly what ignorant means."" I don't get it."

"I'm the skeptical guy in the infomercial audience. I didn't believe a $20 food chopper could be such a good value. guess what. I was wrong."

"What do you call a helicopter mixed with a rhino?? Well hell-if-i-know!"

"My Wife's MENU had only two items: 1: Eat it or 2: Leave it."

"GOD: hey my son is broken, he won't absolve the sins of mankind IT GUY: try turning him off, waiting 3 days, then turning him back on again"