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Joke of the Day

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already."

"What do you call 2 ducks who walk like, act like, and believe they are geese? A paradux"

"What's the only part of a vegetable you can't eat? The wheelchair."

"Did you hear about that look alike contest in china? Everybody won"

"Mother: What do you mean the school must be haunted ? Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit."

"How do all racist jokes start? *Looks over left shoulder* *Looks over right shoulder*"

"What type of tea is hard to swallow? Reality"

"Q: How many publishers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold down the editor."

"Yeah, it IS true that migrants do the jobs you don't wanna do. Like being a suicide bomber."

"What is live? Life is love. Whats love? Love is kissing. Whats kissing? Come here and I show you."