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Joke of the Day

"Mother: What do you mean the school must be haunted ? Daughter: Well the principal kept going on about the school spirit."

"I've replaced my friends insulin with heroin. This is the most expensive prank I've ever done but it's ok, I'll rob him when he's dead."

"After being made bishop, a man is asked what his next move will be. Diagonal."

"I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn't find a manual."

"Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calender? They each got 6 months."

"Im excited to have Tubman on the twenty So we can use black people as currency again"

"I'm like a cupcake, I'll go straight to your ass, girl."

"If Hugh Jackman turns out to be a con-artist... Then his whole life will have been a huge act......man."

"So this guy comes in a smokeshop. No wait! A horse! So this guy comes in a horse"

"The Average human walks 900miles per year, and drinks 22 gallons of beer, which means the average human gets 41 miles per gallon... Not bad!"