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Joke of the Day

"*Stands in wood & sets self on fire* ""OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"" I want to look hot on tinder."

"My girlfriend and I were so happy for 22 years. Then we met."

"The STAR WARS super agressive marketing will probably change the name of Easter to ""The Christ Awakens"""

"What's worse than a cardboard box? Paper titties"

"Today is definitely a good day to be kissed but I'm going to sit inside and look at my phone because sometimes that feels like kissing too"

"What kind of dog can tell time? A clockshund!"

"What kind of tea do wealthy people own? Proper-Tea"

"DNA What do you get when you mix human and goat DNA? [Kicked out of the zoo.](/spoiler)"

"I suspect that my cat has plans to kill me. But has just never been awake long enough to carry them out."

"What's the difference between and out-law and an in-law? One's wanted."