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Joke of the Day

"If a mass murderer on death row ordered a Klondike Bar for his last meal I bet it would explain a lot."

"[Batman & Joker at a table in Arkham Asylum] Joker: Wanna know I got these Scars? *He gestures at his Lion King action figures* Batman: Ugh"

"How can I go to sleep when this movie I've seen 70 times just started?"

"I buy vodka alone, people give me the ""Enough Vodka?"" look. I buy vodka with 4 kids, people give me the ""Are you sure that's ENOUGH?"" look."

"What the 0 said to the 8 ? Nice belt, dude !"

"If you say ""NO YOURE UNDER ARREST"" the cop legally has to get in the back of your car."

"My Roomba sucked up some cocaine & cleaned the entire house in 5 mins. Now my jewelry's missing & the Roomba's trying to bang the blender."

"Did you hear about the new condoms for frogs? They're rrrrribbet for her pleasure!"

"If I built a crime fighting robot I'd make his penis the gun. He'd also be programmed to say ""no homo"" before shooting a guy in the face."

"Why do people with Ocd never have diarrhea. They got their shit in order."