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Joke of the Day

"How many US Congress members does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them."

"At the beach, looking at all these fit young people, with their perfect bodies and perfect tans and I think ""I wish I could be a shark""."

"What's Malcolm X's favorite Mountain Dew flavour? White-out."

"Police Officer: You know, this is a one way street? Me: I was only going one way..."

"""Heh. This guy doesn't even know I ate his candy bar."", Tom snickered."

"What's beneath most Canadians? Most Americans"

"I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out."

"I would like to be an ice cream man It would be a cool job"

"What do you call a scouser in a suit? The defendant."

"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. Not a great gift I know, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it."