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Joke of the Day

"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. Not a great gift I know, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it."

"I was masturbating when I heard some one scream ""Help"". So I came as fast as I could."

"Rose: I'm so cold. Jack: Listen, Rose. You're gonna get out of here, you're gonna go on and- fine, you can have my damn hoodie"

"Coke Zero Pepsi One Well played Pepsi."

"Professor X gets a lot of credit as a progressive considering his solution to a race conflict was ""give them their own school."""

"Awkward penguin http://tinypic.com/R/2lcwja/8"

"A boy asks his father, ""Where's the big storm going?"" The father replies, ""Miami."" The son says, ""Is your Ami going to be ok?"""

"Puberty doesn't hit us Asians Our parents do."

"How do you make cottage cheese? You shake a baby."

"The line ""Do you come here often?"" Has a zero percent success rate at the abortion clinic."