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Joke of the Day

"How often do scientists check the element table? Periodically..."

"This chick at Walgreens is totally hitting on me. What's your name? What's your address? Do you have any questions for the pharmacist?"

"If I had a dollar for every time I was racially accepting I'd be as poor as a no good, dirty mexican."

"Do you want to hear a joke about a psychologist? - Yes. - Why?"

"This Venn guy was sure bad at drawing circles next to each other"

"My Obgyn suggested I cut carbs to maintain a healthier pregnancy weight. Frankly, I'd rather cut the Obgyn."

"Whats the difference between a Priest and Acne? *Acne waits until you're a teen to come on your face* ^^^^^^^^^^edit^^^^^^^^^^, ^^^^^^^^^^grammar"

"Dr: ... Me: ... D: ... M: ... D: *sighs* Did you stick an orange up your rectum M: No *orange falls out onto floor* D: ... M: *mumbles* yes"

"Say ""Rise up lights"" in your normal speaking voice. . . You just said ""Razor blades"" with an Australian accent."

"Did you hear about the pig's vacation? They had a wonderful time at Yellowstone National Park. They dressed up as bears and raided all the garbage cans."