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Joke of the Day

"The new sponge in the sink just brightened my day a little. Being an adult is stupid."

"I accidentally gave my wife superglue instead of Chapstick She's still not talking to me."

"How do you piss off /r/jokes? Jokes: son-of-a-b***h"

"Anal intercourse is for assholes."

"Whats a caged animal's favorite food? Zoocchini"

"I can move things with my mind. Like, my arms."

"Home is where the Wi-Fi is."

"You know what's odd about those girls at Starbucks? They, like, literally can't, even."

"Q.) What happens when a Blonde eats a mosquito? A.) She has more brain cells in her stomach than her head."

"Why did Hitler lose World War II? Because his Reich exceeded his grasp."