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Joke of the Day

"You know what's odd about those girls at Starbucks? They, like, literally can't, even."

"What's green and smells like pig shit? Kermit's finger."

"""Alright Mike Tyson, to win $100,000 you need to name a fashion accessory and a place in Australia."" Mike Tyson: ""That's easy. It's Perth!"""

"What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish"

"The first rule of procrastination club is: Google some weird shit then take a nap."

"Synchronized diving would be far more interesting without the pool."

"I asked an LAPD officer to tell me a joke All he said was ""Black teenagers civil rights"""

"What was the parrot doing in prison ? It was a jail-bird !"

"I never mess with anyone in a Pontiac Aztek. I just don't want to be on the wrong end of another of their poor decisions."

"One of the best ways to disguise the sound of a fart is to do it during the 4 claps in the Friends theme song."