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Joke of the Day

"I can move things with my mind. Like, my arms."

"ENTRY-LEVEL JOB OPENING: Minimum 3 years exp required. Must speak 4 languages, have 2 Olympic medals & a reference letter from Barack Obama."

"Yes, It's true eagles can soar... ...but at least weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."

"After 50 years of failed embargoes and isolation the US is about to unleash its most obnoxious weapon on Cuba to date...the American tourist."

"When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency? When the chips are down!"

"When I was a child I dreamed of being an old west cowboy. When I grew up I realized they didn't have toilet paper with aloe."

"Real chemist never dies ...just stops reacting."

"I made an animated graphic of the inside of an egg. ThatsTheYolk.gif"

"Who do you call if Everlast is having a heart attack? Eminem."

"Now that we're moving in together I feel it's time to fill him in on the secret I've protected him from for 5 years: Girls poop too."