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Joke of the Day

"Life's not about people who act true to your face. It's about people who remain true behind your back."

"Why do spoons live such diverse lives? They like to mix it up."

"[On a date at a restaurant] So this is nice huh? ""Yea,uh, who's that?"" *Dad is breathing on the window and writing 'VIRGIN' in the steam*"

"A horse walks into a bar. ""Too late,"" says the bartender, ""we're joking about the pope now."""

"I like my woman like I like my Coffee. Without a Penis."

"A WWII Joke! What did the German Shepherd say at his Nuremberg trial? ""I was just following odors."""

"Why is the Adults only store open 24hrs? Because get off at different times."

"KIM JONG-UN: I'm banning sarcasm ME: well that's just great K: what? M: I reeeally hate sarcasm K: seize him...I think"

"Did you hear about WHO's new report about processed foods causing cancer? Who?"

"What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted."