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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted."

"IF all women are crazy... Then... You might as well pick a pretty one."

"Surprise sex is the best sex. Unless you're in prison."

"[nsfw] why do Jewish women prefer circumcised men? They'll take anything that's 30% off"

"[Pharrell eating at Arby's] ""I want a new look"" Like a new hair cut? ""Something crazier"" *notices the hat in the Arby's logo* ""I've got it!"""

"I just axed this dude what kind of body spray he was wearing."

"Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it's my modesty that stands out."

"I hit 2k followers. Now that I've gathered you all here, I'd like to discuss the benefits of Amway"

"My wife left me because I couldn't control my pasta touching fetish... I'm feeling cannelloni right now"

"My wife dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled, ""You're being charged with being good in bed..."" After two minutes she said she was dropping the charge due to lack of evidence."