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Joke of the Day

"[On a date at a restaurant] So this is nice huh? ""Yea,uh, who's that?"" *Dad is breathing on the window and writing 'VIRGIN' in the steam*"

"Why did the run-on sentence take a pregnancy test? Because its period came too late."

"*bursts into church* DONT MARRY THAT WOMAN ... Undertaker: ""This is a funeral"" ... OKAY WELL IT STILL HOLDS TRUE, DONT MARRY HER"

"Why is the letter 'c' afraid of the rest of the alphabet? Because all the other letters are not c's. *** ^^*ba ^^dum ^^tss*"

"The walk of shame: When you toss a paper ball in trash, miss, then have to go get it."

"Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back."

"Hey girl, you're a 10 on my scale... But that's only because you're basic."

"Who are the most intelligent monsters? Zombies (because, Braiiiiiiins!!!)"

"My shoulder just got to 2nd base with the chick who is cutting my hair..."

"When I was a kid I was a sore loser... ...,I cried every time my dad beat me."