160266
Joke of the Day
"A horse walks into a bar. ""Too late,"" says the bartender, ""we're joking about the pope now."""
Next Joke
"Not to freak everybody out but my new desk calendar ends in 2012"
"I like my coffee like I like my girls Without a penis."
"*Stands guard with scissors and tinsel* Wait, you said ""wrap battle"", right?"
"Seriously you guys, the only reason to check Facebook, is to find out where people are going, and then go somewhere else."
"Torn this election season. I think it would be awesome to have the first woman president. But I'm also curious about the apocalypse."
"9 years ago i asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today i asked her to marry me. She said no both times."
"I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred? . . . . . The top ans was . . . . . GET the hell outta of my bathroom!"
"My Mother in law said to me: ""I'll dance on your grave, when you're dead"" ""Good!"" I said, ""I'm being buried at sea."""
"How do you make a woman scream for an hour after sex? You wipe your dick with her pillow"