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Joke of the Day

"HR: The delivery job is yours. Me: Great! HR: Do u have a reliable car? Me: Yes. HR: Model? Me: A little in college. How is that relevant?"

"CUTE GIRL I LIKE: I'm gonna hang up ME TRYING TO FLIRT: No you hang up"

"What do you call a valet from India? Mahatma Coat"

"Why do woman have faces? So you know what cunts yours. I have to get a ratio of woman to man down/up votes for this haha.."

"A pirate is never late.... (x-post from Funny) A pirate is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to. Although admittedly drunk, on fire and uninvited."

"I feel bad for kids in wheelchairs. I bet they get pushed around a lot."

"FDR said, ""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."" He should have said, ""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself and polio."""

"Anal with my girlfriend made my whole day But it made her whole week."

"Did you hear that the king of the jungle fell into a deep, deep sleep? He's a lion in a coma."

"Just came across a very strange porn site....took me ages to clean it off my screen"