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Joke of the Day

"I bet the LAPD gets a lot of calls about ""a lost, lonely-looking little girl"" that turn out to be David Spade walking home."

"It would be rather appropriate to die during sex. We come *into* this world naked and screaming..."

"What does a blind pornstar say when she's surprised? I did not see that cumming...."

"They're marketing headphones specifically for gorillas now Rumor has it they'll be called Harambeats. I'm so sorry."

"Women are better than cake. You can have a woman and eat her too."

"A man asks his wife... Husband: ""Honey, how come you never shout my name when you have an orgasm?"" Wife: ""Because you're never there."""

"Why did the goal post get angry? Because the bar was rattled!"

"*on time travel bus* oh you're going back to kill hitler? uh yeah totally, me too *pulls jacket over spice girls world tour '98 t shirt*"

"My poor dog hates going to the vet. But he just won't die."

"The other day I started making a belt by joining all my old watches together... ...but then I realised it would be a waist of time."