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Joke of the Day

"A man asks his wife... Husband: ""Honey, how come you never shout my name when you have an orgasm?"" Wife: ""Because you're never there."""

"Sarah Palin is claiming she had a sexual relationship with Bill Clinton. When asked, Clinton responded ""Close, but no cigar."""

"Why did God create men ? Because dildos can't take out the trash."

"How to capture an elephant step 1 dig a hole. step 2 fill the hole with ash. step 3 surround it with peas. step 4 when the elephant comes to take a pea, you kick it in the ash hole!"

"Mommy, they call me nymphomaniac at school... -Don't worry Lissa, it's just kid's stuff. Now you go to sleep before dark, or the Boogeyman will come at eat you. -Yeah! He should come and eat my pussy!"

"Hello? I'd like to rent one bouncey house, please. How many will be using it? Just one. Her age? Uh. Four........ty-seven."

"Sleeping Beauty is my favorite story about how any sweet princess will activate her fire breathing dragon if you wake her up from a nap."

"I met a horse who keeps talking about the apocalypse. He told me the end is neigh."

"It's sad to see how people seem to put more effort into their wedding than they do into their marriage."

"It's amazing how many pedestrians confuse ""Right of Way"" with ""Immortality."""