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Joke of the Day

"Cop: License and registration please. Me: Give me a second, I'm drunk. Cop: Sir, have you been drinking? Me: No."

"Thanks for the holiday photo! I can't believe your little girls are already unhappy, overweight teenagers!"

"I'm lucky enough to be ambidextrous. It's just a shame I'm a lefty."

"A soviet joke Q: What doesn't buzz and doesn't fit up your ass? A: A soviet made anal buzzer."

"So two stags are walking home from a gay bar. One looks at the other and says ""I can't believe I just blew 50 bucks back there!"""

"Did you hear about the witch who couldn't have children? her husband had a Holloweenie."

"The Boy Scouts ended their ban on gay adults, which means that soon you'll be able to buy some delicious Boy Scout cookies."

"They say you are what you eat... That's why I'm a good person"

"Do you know that the Coast Guard requires that you be at least six feet tall? So that if your ship sinks, you can walk back to shore!"

"I decided to join the new Jewish fraternity on campus ... Zayda Ate a Bagel"