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Joke of the Day

"I invented a new sex position called ""The Donald"" You grab her by the pussy and fling her over a wall."

"Me: You ask so many questions that I want to stab a fork in my eye. Her: Why? Me: *stabs fork into eye*"

"Test boast, please ignore. I just hacked my friend's reddit account."

"Did you know crocodiles can grow up to 15 feet? But most only have 4 :)"

"When I said ""I hope you die,"" I was actually being really thoughtful. Do you really want to experience the unending burdens of immortality?"

"I once joked about Ebola. Everyone started laughing. It was contagious."

"Ahhh, Christmastime... Is my favorite time of year. It's the only time of the year that my wife isn't griping at me to take down the Christmas lights."

"What's the difference between a black man and batman? A black guy can't go a night without robin."

"What does every Tickle Me Elmo receive before it leaves the factory? Two testicles."

"What do you call a blind german? A Not - see (Nazi)"