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Joke of the Day

"Hey man, want to buy some stolen peppers? Careful, they're hot."

"Why can't Quentin Tarantino make a good first impression? He's always getting off on the wrong foot."

"People should be able to spell arbitrary however the hell they want to."

"Yeah, sure, I use made-up words sometimes. Does that make you [Lowers shades] Discomfortable?"

"What disease do you get from kissing birds? Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. They say it's untweetable."

"Wife left a note on the fridge it says ""It's not working, gone to my mom's"" I opened it and opened a beer, it's cold, the fridge works fine?"

"Laughed so hard tears ran down my leg."

"I don't know. ""Your goose is cooked"" seems like a positive. Like someone saying, ""Hey, dinner's ready. We're having goose."""

"I'd estimate about 28% of the drugs you've taken were smuggled here in someone's asshole."

"What do you call a Mexican who lost his car ? Carlos."