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Joke of the Day

"I don't know. ""Your goose is cooked"" seems like a positive. Like someone saying, ""Hey, dinner's ready. We're having goose."""

"Are you going to buy something this time? Or are you ""just curious""? Let's just say I'm buy-curious."

"Happiness is a relative thing. I finally have some extra money and suddenly my relatives are happy."

"Me and my brother went to a homosexual Chinese restaurant. We both ordered 'the cream of sum yung gui'"

"Well, if anything, the Mayans DID teach us ONE valuable lesson. If you don't finish something...it's really not the end of the world."

"What does the son of God do when he is the victim of medical malpractice? Jesus"

"Someone should make a food app that connects to your bank account and only lists restaurants you can afford, could call it Welp"

"Monday is one of my favourite days of the week--my 7th favourite."

"Relationships are like fat people... Most don't work out!"

"Did you hear Santa is getting divorced? Mrs. Clause caught him with a HO-HO-HO......"