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Joke of the Day

"I don't know. ""Your goose is cooked"" seems like a positive. Like someone saying, ""Hey, dinner's ready. We're having goose."""

"Make a fire with someone and they'll be warm for a night. Make a fire with someone and they'll be warm for the rest of their life."

"Marshawn Lynch came back to play for the month of October. Breast Mode"

"Freudians suck I used to be a neo-freudian, until I took ap psychology, (jung and horney)"

"As a kid playing parent, I never accounted for the 8 hours a week I'd lose taking underwear out of inside out pants while doing laundry."

"I don't tweet about my boss because I don't wanna be a suspect when he disappears."

"What's the difference between a refugee and E.T? E.T learned English and wanted to go home."

"*spends 30 minutes trying to unzip my pants to have sex for the first time* *girlfriend sighs* ""Just take off the mittens"" MY HANDS ARE COLD"

"What did the robot say to the other robot as they destroyed each other? ""Nothing personal."""

"What's another name for a boxy plow pulling baby maker? A Mexican. Make America great again! Vote the Donald!"