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Joke of the Day

"I'd estimate about 28% of the drugs you've taken were smuggled here in someone's asshole."

"I was going to make a joke about a carp that had hands But it was too metacarpal."

"It's all fun and games until you're sitting in the Planned Parenthood waiting room doing your Algebra homework"

"What do you call a Mexican who can see into the future? Cristobal"

"what happens when you die? I've seen much scientific and spiritual literature researching and explaining what happens when people die. I've found that generally, they get put in the ground."

"How did the florist act after getting her dream job? Got so excited she wet her plants."

"How many population geneticists does it take to change a light bulb? It's independent of population size."

"I would pay big bucks to Sea World to see a dolphin fly out of a water tank into the stands and start rolling around and eating people."

"Jewish Pun What did Hitler say when the Jews got away? Aushwitz, they got away!"

"That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like.... 'I've got nothing man.'"