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Joke of the Day

"A quick joke... Yesterday I went drinking with the Russians. I almost died. Today I went drinking with some Serbians. I wish I had died yesterday... :D"

"I lost fifty pounds in two weeks by lying!"

"My girlfriend is NOT a library book You hear that guys? Stop checking her out."

"What do giants and strippers have in common? They both grind on bones to make their bread."

"Got a white noise app to help me sleep but its just a recording of guys talking about golf, Dockers, Whole Foods, & the new Coldplay album.."

"I've just been on a once in a lifetime holiday... Never again. Credit: Tim Vine."

"A ""good parenting"" blog followed me. Should I let them know how long ago that ship sailed?"

"I had beer at lunchtime and now I think I might be sitting in the wrong office"

"Why do midgets laugh when they run in fields? Because the grass tickles their balls"

"If a douchebag bungee jumps is it called a Bro-Yo?"