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Joke of the Day

"What is Sherlock Holmes' favorite tree? A-lemon-tree my dear Watson."

"I guess I'm ""just ok"" at being self-deprecating"

"Friend: I'm surprised to see you eating a salad. Me: *empties bag of chocolate chips over it*"

"Biochemists at Chipotle have discovered a way to defeat ISIS militants without any civilian casualties Free Burrito Bowls."

"Jared Fogle says, ""Spell 'Tuna Sub' backwards and that's what I'll do in your kid's face"""

"Best of luck to Steven Gerrard, who's retired from not winning the World Cup to concentrate on not winning the Premier League."

"Can anyone tell me where the Aby Sea is? Someone said pirates can't learn the alphabet, but I be having some difficulties navigating through the Aby Sea part."

"Really Speedo Guy? Things aren't bad enough in the world already? You've got to display to the whole beach that you're hung like a Tic-Tac?"

"I don't always roll a joint but when I do, It's my ankle"

"What do you call a piece of toast on the ceiling? An Ethiopian rave."