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Joke of the Day

"Best of luck to Steven Gerrard, who's retired from not winning the World Cup to concentrate on not winning the Premier League."

"It's funny how red, white, and blue represent freedom Until they're flashing behind you"

"Enough with the cutesy-chubby sidekicks, 3D animation studios."

"Would've totally banged this chick at the bar, but I noticed she had a crooked pinkie toe. Better luck with someone without standards,babe."

"What is a frog's favourite website? REDDIT"

"Just told everybody in the bar to shut the hell up so my date could hear the full effect of my velcro wallet opening."

"My roommate from California was homesick So I stole his water bottle to make him feel more at home."

"What sort of animals make the best TV presenters ? Gnus - readers !"

"It seems that Montana has found a new use for sheep . . . Wool"

"What's Irish and stays out all night? Paddy O'Furniture."