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Joke of the Day

"Friend: I'm surprised to see you eating a salad. Me: *empties bag of chocolate chips over it*"

"You'll end up real disappointed if you grow up thinking everyone has the same heart as you do."

"Yo mommas so ugly... Scorpion says ""STAY OVER THERE"""

"What's the worst place to run in to your ex girlfriend? Auschwitz"

"I have a fantasy that a big strong man shows up at my door, comes in unannounced & slowly, quietly & methodically renovates my bathroom"

"Curiosity killed the cat. NASA apologized profusely."

"What happens when you get more than you payed for with a Mexican Gigolo? The second coming of Jesus."

"What did the pirate say after his successful pillage? Thanks for the gold kind stranger!"

"Was being tested for allergies at an all-male nudist colony when the power went out... Needless to say, I felt every prick."

"Why is diarrhea hereditary? It runs in your genes."