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Joke of the Day

"Really Speedo Guy? Things aren't bad enough in the world already? You've got to display to the whole beach that you're hung like a Tic-Tac?"

"A San Francisco man is running seven marathons in seven days on seven continents; he's expected to be seven times as annoying about it."

"Joke my kid made up when he was like 4.... What do you call an angry shopper using bad words? A cussomer."

"Mathematics works in mysterious ways...[possibly a joke just for UK redditors] 2x2= 4 1x1= 1 0x0= a small brown cube you put in a casserole."

"What's green then turns red really quickly? A frog in a blender"

"What's the difference between the lavatory and the cemetery? No difference - when you gotta go, you gotta go!"

"Then there was the time a cement truck collided with a paddy wagon. Twelvehardened criminals escaped."

"Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It's so fun to watch them freak out!"

"When used as directed, Axe Body Spray makes a good substitute for tear gas."

"Did you guys hear about what Nelly thought? She thought chicken manure was jelly."