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Joke of the Day

"Biochemists at Chipotle have discovered a way to defeat ISIS militants without any civilian casualties Free Burrito Bowls."

"What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman ? One is a super hero and the other is a simple command."

"And Jesus said unto John... And Jesus said unto John come forth and I shall give you everlasting life. But John came fifth so he only won a toaster."

"There's a Little House On The Prairie film in the works, in case any of you are looking to take a two-hour nap in a theatre next year."

"The first time I ever player lacrosse it was fairly stressful every time after that was fairly re-laxing"

"My (black) coworkers informed me that black people can't get lice? ""You know what else they can't get? Good jobs."" I received a write-up :("

"You know what sounds sexy? Six women... Dozen tit."

"[first day as aquarium guide] Me: & here's 8 snakes biting a soccer ball Guy: that's an octopus Me [sighs]: fine. 8 snakes biting an octopus"

"Check it out on Netflix There's this new docu-series about religion in professional sports. The first episode is titled *Bindi Like Beckham*"

"What makes you think this is my first time?"