222024

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an exploding dinosaur? Dino-mite"

"What do you call a homosexual wizard who isn't Albus Dumbledore? Gayndalf The Gay"

"So I just wrote a test on the Periodic table of Elements It went berylliumtly"

"Renewing your wedding vows is like agreeing on a double life sentence to prison."

"Sent him a pic and he replied ""BOOM!!"" Trying to figure out if that means he liked it or he threw himself on a grenade."

"Did you hear that they are building massive oscillating blades in New York? I wasn't a big fan of the idea"

"Boss: Can I have a word with you? Me: You just had 7 with me. Good talk. Boss: But.. Me: Shhhhhhh....."

"I lost all my drafts in the last update. Twitter did you all a favor."

"I want to invent a nap time machine, which is a time machine that takes you to times you could've napped and didn't."

"Boy: Did you know you can get fur from a three headed mountain monster? Girl: Really? What kind of fur? Boy: As fur away as possible!"