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Joke of the Day

"I want to invent a nap time machine, which is a time machine that takes you to times you could've napped and didn't."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know yet. My Basement is still dark."

"If you have time-stamped VHS footage of yourself blowing out birthday candles, you'll eventually be abducted."

"What did the yoga teacher say when someone asked if she wanted to leave the party early? Namaste"

"Yeah I got a job at Coca Cola... It's sodapressing."

"Where do beavers go to cash their paychecks? The riverbank."

"An astrologer asks a lady if she wanted to know her husband's future... To which she replied, ""I decide his future, tell me about his past"""

"A man posts an original joke to http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes"

"College hot dogs What do uou call a hot dog in college? A FRATwurst! Hahahahahaha"

"I just couldn't believe anyone when the told me that my dad had been stealing from his job as a road worker, but when I got home All the signs were there..."